One of my greatest responsibility here on earth is to lead my family. God has appointed me as the priest of my family. I have a fear that I will fail in this area. As a youth pastor I talk to parents all the time that have children that are far from the Lord and the parents will tell me that they have done all they can to try to raise their children right. They will often say, "We raised them in church." Our society has a misconception of church and its role in the family. For some reason many parents think that all they have to do is take their kids to church and everything will be ok.
As the priest of my family God has given me the responsibility to lead and protect my family. I have to teach them to pray and tell my kids who Jesus is. This is not the church's responsibility. The church's job in regards to the family is to compliment what parents should be doing at home, however, for so many families the church has had to take a role of compensating for what is NOT happening at home. I believe with all of my heart that the churches in America will never see revival until the fathers of the home see revival. As goes the father, so goes the family. As goes the family, so goes the church. As goes the church, so goes the nation. By the way I am not saying if you do everything right your children will automatically serve God. There are children that no matter what you do will chose to rebel. However, the Bible is clear that if you will be faithful in raising them according to the Word of God, they will come back to it.
I was at a conference earlier this year with about 900 other pastors and church leaders. One of the speakers asked for those that had children away from the Lord to stand. Over half of the pastors in the place stood to their feet. This broke my heart. During that night the Holy Spirit asked me this question,
"What are you doing to make sure your kids are spiritual giants?"
WOW!!
We have family prayer time at our house and every time we pray I ask God to use my children and to make them leaders.
I want them to be totally in love with Jesus and to totally understand who He is and what He did at the Cross.
I want them to live this life totally free from the bondage of sin.
I want them to experience the Holy Ghost Baptism at an early age and to seek to live in it on a daily basis.
I want God to fill them with the Fruits of the Spirit and each one to be evident in their lives.
- love
- joy
- peace
- patience
- kindness
- goodness
- faithfulness
- gentleness
- self-control
I want them to be students of the Word. Recently, we saw a young man that had piercing and tattoos all over his body and Gabriel asked about them. I explained to him that Jesus loves that person but we believe the Bible teaches against those things. I have the responsibility to teach my children the Word of God, but I also want them to study and know the Word of God so that they will not be deceived by the world and false teachings and at the same time see people and love people just like Jesus showed us.
There are also some questions that I think every parent should sit down and talk to their children about. I am blown away at the things that teenagers do and their parents never know about, yet if you ask the parents they will say they know everything their kids are doing. Parents can not expect their kids to just come and just start talking to them. It is the responsibility of the parent to initiate conversation with their kids. Here are some questions that I heard Andy Stanley share that I thought were very good for parents to ask their children. This may require mom and dad to swallow their pride. I hope they help.
-Is everything ok in your heart?
- Did anyone hurt your feelings today?
- Are you mad at anyone?
- Did anyone break a promise to you today?
- Is there anything I can do for you today?
Two things that have been very hard for me to do as a parent:
1. Because I am a minister and deal with negative situations often within the church and the fact that I am never "off-duty" it is very difficult for me to protect my children from hearing negative things about Natalie and I, others, our church and even the Kingdom of God. Though I cant always protect them from these things I strive to show them that my faith is in Jesus and not in people. People will fail us and we have to turn to Jesus and believe that He will have the final word.
2. I FAIL! So many times I fail as a husband, as a dad, as a pastor, as a Christian, etc. Life is tough and I want my children to know that though we fail we have to get back up. When we fall we have to get back up and run to the Cross. Daily I have to crucify myself and the sin nature that so often tries to get me down. I want them to understand that they can walk in victory.
An extra bonus:
Discipline: Parents that think their kids never do wrong get on my nerves. Listen, I am the first to defend my kids but I also know that they are kids ad mess up some times. If we don't discipline our kids we will do them a disservice and hurt them, NOT HELP THEM. You will not warp their personality by spanking them. But if you do, would you rather them be warped by your love and discipline or by the world.
May be this scripture will help!
"Do not withhold correction from a child, for if you beat him with a rod, he will not die. You shall beat him with a rod and deliver his soul from hell.". - Proverbs 23:13-14
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